


palette (i like it, i'm 25)

by elixirene



Series: song fics [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 12:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16516592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elixirene/pseuds/elixirene
Summary: inspired by iu's palettedoyoung has two identities: a 25 year old and a hidden child version of himself. he's like a palette, warm colours mixing with bright ones that eventually make him confused about who he is.





	palette (i like it, i'm 25)

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first nct fic so i hope u enjoy it~ i love the aesthetics in iu's mvs cos they r so soft & cute,, uwu
> 
> p.s. this has implied rape/non-con (as stated in tags) so proceed with caution or just click off the fic and read another one!

_I prefer dark purple over hot pink_

 

doyoung likes deep, dark, calming colours. thus, his closet is filled with these colours: from navy to denim blue, coffee to cedar brown, the occasional pine green and onyx black. his favourite however, is the different shades of purple that paint his everyday choice of clothing.

 

he has strictly told jaehyun many times that he doesn’t accept other bright colours and pastels, yet he cannot hide his smile when his boyfriend gifts him a pair of woolen socks in a taffy shade of pink. he doesn’t tell the other boy he makes a subtle effort to wear the socks, be it when going for classes or just lazing around at home.

 

*

 

doyoungie is the complete opposite: bright, vibrant and light colours are the source of his happiness. “i don’t like dark purple, i want pink, jaehyunie! lots and lots of pink things!” he tells the other while interlocking their hands in a gentle and warm clasp. jaehyun only smiles at doyoungie’s childlike speech as he brings him along to shop for clothing.

 

they are regular customers at a shop that is owned by their long-time friend taeil. taeil greets jaehyun warmly before turning his attention to doyoung, who is scrunching his nose at a small bottle on the cashier counter. it is filled with alternating layers of white and purple sand. “doyoungie, what’s wrong? You don’t like the colours?” taeil asks the boy purposefully as he stealthily reaches into his jeans pocket to take out a similar bottle which contains pink sand.

 

doyoungie nods his head and questions why taeil doesn’t want to put pink. after all, pink is a better colour than boring old purple. the shop owner doesn’t reply but instead places the bottle of pink sand in doyoungie’s palm, the boy’s eyes widening in glee and surprise, a smile slowly painting across his face.

 

for the rest of the time spent shopping, doyoungie babbles to jaehyun about how he wants to add pink crop tops to his closet and have strawberry ice cream for dessert. his lover nods in an endearing manner before placing a kiss on his cheeks.

 

_What else do I like?_

_Pajamas with buttons, lipstick_

_and mischievous pranks_

 

adding on to his list of favourite things, doyoung likes to sleep in his sweats and an oversized t shirt that belongs to jaehyun. he claims his boyfriend’s natural scent allows him to sleep more soundly. moreover, there’s no point in buying pajamas just for sleeping like what jaehyun does, it’s such a waste of good money.

 

sometimes, jaehyun purposely hides his t shirts to force doyoung to wear his pyjamas for the night. “they still smell of me so really, there’s no difference.” doyoung only puts on an annoyed look before hastily changing into the set of pajamas, ready to surrender to blissful sleep and the warmth of jaehyun’s chest seeping into his back.

 

*

 

doyoungie says otherwise, for he loves wearing buttoned pajamas to sleep. he clamours for jaehyun to help him do the tedious task of buttoning his pajama shirt after their bath, hoping to snatch a few minutes of ruining the other’s face with makeup. jaehyun gladly obliges and readies himself to meet a blur of lipstick and eyeshadow.

 

at the end of doyoungie’s exploration with cosmetics, jaehyun looks into the mirror and bursts into laughter. he looks ridiculous with smudged lipstick, but somewhat decent because of how skillfully doyoungie puts eyeshadow. he notices both of them have star-shaped freckles speckled across their face, and jaehyun tells his lover that he has done a great job.

 

_I like it. I’m twenty five_

_I know you like me_

_I got this. I’m truly fine_

_I think now I know who I am a little_

 

doyoung is a grown man of age twenty-five, and he does not fully understand the complexity of his age regression. it can be fun and relaxing when he becomes a child but it is confusing when he wakes up to fragments of such moments slipping past his grasp. jaehyun is always there for him, though. his boyfriend patiently guides him through a brand new day after he becomes his mature self again and again. doyoung thinks that everything will be alright, they will get through this together.

 

 _I like things that are out of style_ _  
_

_I like colourful palettes over paintings, diaries and_

_the time spent sleeping_

 

“what are you painting again?” jaehyun steps out from his shower to find doyoung standing in front of a half-finished painting. used brushes are strewn all over the table beside the easel as he mixes some paint in a compartmentalized white box. jaehyun pushes a glass of murky water far away from the table’s edge because it spilling over will result in a very cranky doyoung. his boyfriend tells him it’s just a scenery of the park near their apartment and the painting is a gift for taeil, who is moving to a new house.

 

just then, doyoung stretches and yawns softly. he puts down his art materials to rub traces of sleepiness away from his eyes. jaehyun takes this as his cue to stop doyoung from continuing his painting and tugs him towards their bed. he whines at the action but doesn’t protest or resist. “wait, i gotta write a reminder in my diary.” he sluggishly walks to the table and sits down to pen down something in his leather bound journal.

 

when jaehyun feels like he is writing more than what seems to be a reminder, he lifts doyoung out from the chair and carries him bridal style to the bed. the smaller boy squirms in his arms in an attempt to escape, but fails to because of jaehyun’s strength encasing him. doyoung gives up eventually and lets jaehyun spoon him for the rest of the night.

 

*

 

when he awakes from his sleep, it is about nine in the morning. doyoungie doesn’t want to sleep anymore though, he wants to play with that weird cloud-shaped plastic board that jaehyunie got for him to mix paint and colour blank papers. it’s called a palette, he thinks to himself while he quietly gets off from the bed and crawls towards a familiar pink box in the corner of the room.

 

he opens it to reveal the palette, brushes and mini tins of paint. doyoungie giggles in anticipation as he starts pouring blobs of paint on the palette and mixes them with white to form pastels. jaehyun stirs from his sleep to notice that his lover is not beside him but rather lying on the floor dipping his fingers into paint and stamping them on a sheet of messily coloured paper.

 

doyoungie looks up and waves at jaehyun happily before resuming with his masterpiece. the boy on the bed smiles and reaches for his phone on the bedside table, taking a snapshot of the innocent and childlike scene in front of his eyes for later reminiscence.

  
  
_Things are hard because you’re young_

_Everything hurts because of the nagging_

_You’re a child who always got scolded_

_You just got past your early twenties_

_The joy didn’t last long_ _  
_

_They say it hurts because it’s youth_

 

sometimes, doyoung tethers along the line of identity: is he an adult or a child? he doesn’t know, doesn’t want to think about it, yet the memories of abuse haunt him in his awakening and sleeping moments. that is why when it all becomes too real, he falls back into a state of retreat and escape. doyoung becomes a child time and time again to enjoy the innocence he has never experienced since he was seven years old. at least, those phantom touches and breaths down his neck will disappear, even if it’s temporary.

 

his younger self has tried to tell his parents, but they never seem to believe their child’s words and think it’s just a lie. they scold him for being so rude to the accused, who is a trusted family friend. doyoung since then has swallowed down all his tears and cries for help for silence.

 

he seals his mouth shut until the day he meets jaehyun when he is only sixteen and the other fifteen. from then on, he has poured out everything to the younger boy and they make plans to save doyoung. they finally succeed in bringing justice and allowing doyoung to have closure. they celebrate by buying a small house near their school with the money they have earned from working part-time, and it is on that same day that jaehyun asks doyoung to be his boyfriend.

 

_You’re not a grown up, nor a child_

_You’re just you_

_That’s when you shine the most_ _  
_

_Even when darkness falls around you_

_Don’t get scared_

 

through all of this, jaehyun has wiped doyoung’s tears that wash down his mask of strength into vulnerability. the younger tells him it’s okay for him to be confused, he can take all the time he needs to understand and find himself. jaehyun also assures him that his love for doyoung has never changed, it will be the source of light and hope for him.

 

_You’re so beautiful_

_You’re fully bloomed_

_Y_ _ou will always be loved, you_  
 

doyoung and jaehyun’s love is calming and comforting, while the love between doyoungie and jaehyunie is endearing and hopeful. there is no difference between the two sides of their romance because it is eternal devotion.

   
_I like it. I’m twenty five_

_I know you hate me_

_I got this. I’ve truly found_ _  
_

_I think I know a little bit about myself now_

**Author's Note:**

> do leave kudos or a comment if u liked this fic. i rly appreciate it! <3


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